5 MORE Secret Things All Guys Do (But Few Will Admit To)

Recently we gave you an article called “The Top 5 Things ALL Guys Do (But Few Will Admit To). The post seemed to strike a chord with everyone who were, for the most part somewhat aghast that the “five things” were actually staring at them there in print and that they very actually very very true. So after the amused shock wore off, the second most common response was, “Hey, you forgot about (fill in the blank)!” Here, then, is a follow-up article that features another handful of those secret guy things…that ALL guys do…but few will actually ever admit to. Will you??

1. WALK AROUND NAKED WHEN NOBODY’S HOME…You know how it goes. You have the house to yourself. Everybody is gone for the entire day. You’re absolutely positive. The thought occurs to you, hmmm what would it FEEL like just to be naked. Walk around naked. Sit around naked. Just hang out all day naked?

2. EXPERIMENTAL PENIS PLACEMENTS – Have you seen the movie “American Pie”? Of course you did. Remember the apple pie scene? Of course you do. Seems like every guy, at one time or another before they actually experience intercourse is curious enough to try sticking their penis into some object…just because. It may an attempt to simulate the actual act, or it just may be a variation on the same ol’ masturbation routines, but it’s one of those things that seems to pop up in a growing guy’s mind. Maybe it’s not literally done with an apple pie, maybe it’s a melon, or a makeshift device created out of plastic bags and hand lotion, maybe a piece of furniture, or just a Fleshlight or something, this act is more common than you might imagine. (See Number 1).

3. THE 24 HOUR MASTURBATION MARATHON. Here’s another thing that tends to occur to a horny guy left home all alone. How many times can I masturbate in a 24 hour time period? What kind of personal record could I set? This might even be the subject of bragging and competition between friends. (Once again, See Number 1.)

4. WIENER GAMES. Ask any guy and he’ll probably tell you having a penis is the best thing in the world. Not only is it a good friend and a handy source of pleasure, it offers no end to the variety of games you can play with it. From simply just sticking a hand in your pants and playing with your balls while watching TV, to flicking peanuts off your boner, shooting targets in the toilet with your pee stream, writing your name in the snow, or the war simulation favorite Up Periscope in the bathtub, a penis is practiacally the perfect plaything. (Don’t deny it, you know you do these things.)

5. CURIOSITY ABOUT THE NEW (OR OLD BOYFRIEND). Okay this one is a little tougher. Guys don’t like to admit this very much, but c’mon fellas, you know it’s true. We are curious about the attributes of our ex’s new boyfriend and/or our current partner’s old partners. Specifically I’m talking about the fact that we tend to wonder who is bigger, us or the other guy…and…who was better in bed. It doesn’t mean we lack confidence, it’s just that…well, we’re guys, these are things that should be settled. We can’t really sniff another guys butt…but knowing his ween size would be kind of nice.